MY heart says yes, but my head says no.

To pinch a phrase from Kevin Keegan, "I would love it, just love it" if my Manchester City win the derby at Old Trafford.

I was still in short trousers when my beloved Blues last beat United on their home turf. But our deadly rivals seem to be playing football from another dimension at the moment and the game is certain to be a "backs to the wall" job.

In normal daily life - if there is such a thing - I'm the most placid person you could wish to meet. My temperament is what you'd call typically Anglo Saxon. But there's something about this fixture that turns mild mannered me into a snarling, shouting lunatic, capable of coming out with the sort of language that would make a trooper blush.

I can remember watching one derby game in my dad's local, The Red Lion in Wincham, and even though I was only one of about four or five City fans in a roomful of Reds, I couldn't resist bawling at the big screen and generally calling everyone on the pitch who was wearing a red shirt. Luckily, the patrons of this particular hostelry are renowned for their good humour, and nobody was bothered by my anti-United rants. They probably thought I was rather sad.

When I'm actually at a game I'm even worse. My stomach turns over as kick-off approaches and my spine tingles when the teams come running out. Being a bit of a coward I tend to attend only derby games at City's home stadium, and this gives me ample opportunity to vent my spleen in safety. To use a tired, old football clich, I kick every ball and boo every decision that goes against the boys in blue. Who's the Psycho in row Y? Why, it's mild mannered me of course.

On December 9, when Manchester's big two lock horns on the football field, I'll be spending the day with my son, which is probably better for my blood pressure and for the ear drums of the public in general. I'll be willing a City win and you know what they say about the form book going out of the window on derby day.

Whatever happens, as long as my team plays with pride and passion, I'll be happy.