Mullered, minced and marmalised!

Gloucester have been lucky to escape the mass decimation of their team through World Cup call-ups and have added physicality and brute force to their already potent squad over the closed season.

Fortunately we were spared the trickery of Simpson Daniel and the explosive power of the Volcano, but even those small blessings weren't enough to help Sale escape Castle Grim with their honour intact.

We were conclusively beaten by a better side, but on another day could've come away with a result had not the old demon of indiscipline come back to haunt us.

For once Sale came out of the traps firing and immediately started to press the Gloucester defence, pinning them in their own 22 for the first few minutes.

We actually looked like a team with ambition and intent and it was obvious that the game plan had been set down by the coaches - take the game to them and don't sit back and wait for them to throw the ball around.

Foden, Ripol and Laharrague all looked lively and took each and every opportunity to run the ball back at the Gloucester defence. The tactics immediately paid dividends when the Cherry and Whites infringed and conceded a penalty deep in their own 22.

Charlie showed his intent and kicked for the corner, surprising the raucous and partisan Shed.

From the resultant line out the Sale pack mauled their way infield and towards the Gloucester five-metre line.

As the maul collapsed everyone appeared to either stop or go into slow motion, as if already believing Ashley Rowden had blown for another penalty.

The only one alive to the opportunity was our Premiership debutant, Benoit Bourrust, who picked the ball up and plodded over the line placing the ball just to the side of the posts.

Gloucester stood and watched as if they couldn't believe what had just happened. I wanted to jump up and cheer but as I was in the press box I decided sitting on my hands and keeping schtum was probably more appropriate.

Charlie's conversion clipped the inside of the posts. Still, 5-0 up after five minutes was a better start than most of us expected.

From the resulting 22 drop out Charlie was taken late by Alex Brown and looked stunned but he managed to hold on to the ball.

Unfortunately he was deemed to have held on too long and Sale conceded the first of many penalties. Yes, that old chestnut again.

Fortunately Lamb's kick went wide, but you really can't afford to concede penalties at kickable distances at this level - these are lessons that should've been learned by now.

Having said that Brown, James and Narraway's increasing dominance at the lineout would arguably have meant we would've conceded points anyway had Gloucester kicked to touch. Mr Rowden was quick to penalise even the slightest offence, however marginal, and Sale should've spotted this early on and adjusted their game plan.

Gloucester were obviously aware of the ref's idiosyncrasies and started to open up, moving the ball wide at every opportunity and using their dominant pack to batter their way upfield when that failed.

All we managed to muster in response for the next 15 minutes was an attempted drop goal, a Hodgson penalty which sailed just past the post and a sweeping crossfield move that died a death after a bizarre training ground reverse backhand pass from Elvis to no-one.

Lamb, on the other hand, started to take control of the game with astute kicking and quick thinking. Gloucester began to look like the team that can run rings around others.

Although our scrambled defence performed admirably, battering back wave after wave of Gloucester attacks, we kept conceding penalty after penalty. Soon we were 12 -5 down and the early promising start was but a distant memory.

Just when all seemed to be lost, up stepped Ben Foden. He took the ball in his own 22 and instead of kicking to touch, jinked inside Morgan and swept down the touchline beating Tindall and Bailey before off-loading to Ripol who shimmied past Lamb to place the ball under the posts.

It was by far the best move of the match and lit up what was fast becoming a very stuttering Sale performance.

So Foden's pass was forward - I knew that, as did the entire South stand but it wasn't called by the touch judge, so there. You take what you can get.

Naturally I was so carried away by the moment that I forgot where I was and that I was supposed to be impartial. You'd think they'd never seen anyone singing and dancing in a press box before.

Charlie converted the try and we went in even-Stevens at half time, much to the annoyance of the home crowd.

It became obvious in the first minute of the second half that Dean Ryan's size 10s had been used to devastating effect in the changing rooms during the break.

Gloucester were a different side and got at Sale, immediately sweeping the ball down the flanks and putting the Sharks on the back foot. What happened next decided the match, or some may choose to tell you that.

Coxy was pinged for an infringement and the ref immediately reached for his pocket. Was he sin-binned for hands in at the ruck or for killing the ball?

I couldn't say and neither could any Sharks players after the game. All I could make out was that Mr Rowden had seen some infringement, but it was impossible to decide exactly what that was as his gestures and hand signals looked more like some weird form of theatrical tic-tac.

I'm sure the angry and boisterous Shed mightve had some influence in making up his mind.

With Coxy off, Sale were destined to suffer not just at the set piece but in open field play too. Even the introduction of Jason White and Wiggy couldn't stop the rot.

The Sharks were going backwards and were uncompetitive at both the lineout and scrum. Leon Lloyd's two tries were testament to this dominance.

Only frantic and desperate defending saved us from going even further behind.

From what I could see we were going to get leathered whether Coxy was on or off. Gloucester were on a roll and any lack of cutting edge they'd demonstrated in the first half had been left behind in the changing room.

We were second best for 12 minutes and were lucky to have not fallen further behind.

When Coxy came back on he played like a man possessed. If he was suffering or embarrassed by what had happened, you'd never have known.

He hit rucks and mauls with an added ferocity and it came as no surprise that the rest of the team raised their game too. For the next 10 minutes Sale were able to camp in the Gloucester 22.

We moved the ball wide and then back infield, retaining it well and working through the phases. But there was little penetration.

The Gloucester defence is every bit as effective as their attack. No matter what the Sharks tried, there was no way through the red and white wall.

At least we had the courage and conviction to kick to the corner when given a penalty and not opt for the posts. Sadly our lineout was second best, as it had been all day, and the ball was turned over.

When you're down and Lady Luck isn't on your side, fate can be cruel and unforgiving.

Despite desperate defending, Sale were unable to keep Gloucester at bay for too long.

A fluke Lamb clearance to touch landed just short of the line and bounced up cruelly. Sale assumed the ball would find touch and gave up the chase, but Balshaw kept his eye on the ball and was able to pick up the wicked bounce and fly down the wing, off-loading to Morgan who raced in ahead of Hodgson to give Gloucester their third try and effectively stymie any chance of a Sharks' comeback.

The only consolation' to be had from a disappointing day was that at least our last-ditch defending denied Gloucester the bonus point. Alright, it's not much consolation I know, but any port in a storm.

Five games into the season and another away defeat, another 300-mile round trip and another frustrating and desperately unwelcome result - not the best way to start the weekend.

Will it stop me travelling and supporting my team? Of course it won't.

I'm an eternal optimist and my glass is always half-full, but I think I might go and buy some Araldite just to plug any future leaks.