From time to time we're all faced with the need to make a tough decision. It's time for us to seriously consider walking away and moving on to something more suitable for us.

But how to survive when you need to make a tough decision?

- Few of us relish confrontation. Getting along well enough with each other matters. Risking censure, disapproval or anger can put a brake on saying that something needs to change. Guilt often features too, 'after all I've done for you' can be words we dread hearing.

- Fear of upsetting or offending those who 'want the best for us' can make a tough decision tougher. Fear of their reaction, the consequences, being rejected can sometimes cause us indecision. And what happens if, after walking away, we regret it! Well, we'll survive, perhaps a little older, wiser, battered and bruised, but at least we had a go and can move on from the experience.

- Explaining how unhappy we are is often a start. Family and friends may not be totally surprised at our decision. Remember too that no experience is ever wasted. Recognise the support and investment that's been made into our personal relationships.

- Ignoring our conscience can cause us sleepless nights. The tug-of-war between conscience and family can cause everyone pain and heartbreak. Maintaining communications and mutual respect is crucial but can often be very difficult at first.

- Set aside time when you're ready to talk things through. Prepare what you want to say, but don't be too contrite about your decision. You may be sorry for the hurt and upset that's been caused but be firm about reclaiming your life.

- Offer an alternative plan. It demonstrates that you're serious, have thought about your future direction and are not being whimsical or impetuous.

- Accept responsibility for the consequences of your action or inaction, even if choosing to walk away requires a little time for things to cool, settle and heal.

- But those who like, love and care for us should understand our dilemma and stay supportive because our happiness matters to them. Mutual sensitivity and respect are key elements in surviving tough decisions.

Tough decisions often indicate that it's time to move on. Not everyone or everything stays in our lives forever. It may be hard to accept but sometimes tough decisions mean letting go and not staying with the status quo.

Susan Leigh, Altrincham, Cheshire, South Manchester counsellor, hypnotherapist, relationship counsellor,