So you've been asked to hang around and wait for someone or something to arrive, to go out of your way to drop someone home, take part in something you don't want to do. The request may make you feel rather irritated, but pause and ask yourself, what's a little inconvenience occasionally?
So long as we don't feel that we're regularly being taken advantage of, are being used and abused or disrespected being inconvenienced from time to time can be okay. It's a good wake-up call and reminder of some important points that help us to all happily co-exist.
When we have to take other people's needs and wants into account it reminds us that we share the world with them. They're also entitled to consideration and respect. We sometimes have to practice restraint, make space for their wishes and appreciate that they too have priorities.
Being inconvenienced stops us from becoming too selfish and self-absorbed. Not everything revolves around us; other people matter too. Introducing a different perspective into decision-making can be a valuable way to understand another point of view. It's a powerful way to practice tolerance, enhance and grow.
Investing in relationships means that sometimes we're required to bend to their interests and be flexible about what they expect from us. We may be asked to be their plus one on occasion, amend our plans, do something that we'd rather not, but give and take is important in making a relationship work. It shows that we're capable of empathy and an appreciation of the things they feel are important.
Taking on board what the other person is saying, even if we're not happy about it, demonstrates that we're paying attention and prepared to listen and discuss what matters to them. Something that to us may be relatively trivial or insignificant could be high on their list of importance. So hearing and giving due deference to their words, even if they cause us to be inconvenienced, shows that we're committed to trying.
A little inconvenience gets us out of our comfort zone, makes us pay attention to other people and may well introduce us to new, unexpected people, places, activities or even points of view. Being flexible and prepared to be inconvenienced from time to time is fine and part of functioning with others in shared relationships and environments, just as we expect others to accommodate us at times.
Susan Leigh, Altrincham, Cheshire, South Manchester counsellor, hypnotherapist
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