HERE we go again. The dust has barely settled on the mauling of delicate young egos by Cowell the Cruel, and now we have witnessed the spectacle of Waterman the Warmonger.

The battleground is Popstars: The Rivals (ITV1, Saturday), and the combatants are Pistol Pete versus everyone else.

Stung by Simon Cowell's success on the US version of Pop Idol, old Pete has obviously decided that vitriol pays. Unfortunately for him, while Cowell's putdowns were concise and based on an honest assessment, the grey-haired groaner seems to be ranting just for effect.

When hostilities broke out between Waterman and fellow judges Louis Walsh and Geri Halliwell over a spotty 17-year-old called Paul, Pete was actually heard to yell: "I'm always right!"

He thought the youngster couldn't sing, while Louis and Geri thought he could. Mind you, as Louis was the man who thought Ronan Keating could sing, maybe Pete had a point!

As Louis, who inflicted Boyzone on an unsuspecting world, and Pete (ditto Sonia) tore into each other like a pair of pensioners fighting over the remote control, I actually found myself warming to Geri.

I know it sounds bizarre, and the feeling will probably wear off, but she was not half as irritating as I expected her to be.

She should be worried, however, by the sort of fans she attracts, if the specimens turning up to audition are anything to go by. Stalker material aplenty there, I fear!

Ant and Dec are sorely missed in the presenting role. Davina McCall merely reprises her Big Brother act, mugging at the camera and shouting a lot.

As for the contestants, they have obviously cottoned on to the fact that real talent is not a prerequisite to becoming a member of a manufactured band. Remember that the victors in the first Popstars search were the giants who became Hear'say. I rest my case.

SOAP POSER:

AS if the whining southern twang of Terrible Tricia is not enough, old 'Luton Airport' herself (Lorraine Chase) has now taken up residence in Emmerdale as the dippy barmaid's mother. Somehow 'Leeds Bradford Airport' doesn't have the same ring, does it?

THOUGHT-PROVOKING TV MOMENT:

ONE year on, the TV companies have been reprising the events of September 11, 2001, with the main focus on the destruction of the twin towers in New York. The 'docu-drama' on the plane that crashed in Pennsylvania, however, was especially chilling.

Footage of people describing their last conversations with relatives who were passengers on the ill-fated flight was harrowing. Having watched the horror unfolding in New York and at the Pentagon on their TV screens, they had to deal with the terrible task of comforting loved ones, who had little chance of returning to them. How do you ever recover from that?

MIND-NUMBING TV MOMENT:

SO Tony Blackburn the Log Man was voted King of the Jungle! Doesn't that just about say everything about the calibre of contestants on I'm A Celebrity - Get Me Out Of Here? Not 'arf!